I Am A Polar Bear

I recently joined a Facebook group dedicated to people travelling to Iceland, with some idea that I could be useful on there. Instead, I found upwards of 60 responses to every question before I even got there, most posted anonymously and with some disclaimed along the lines of “everyone is really snarky so if you can’t answer nicely, just scroll on”. There are a lot of very repetitive questions – just scroll down, someone asked that half an hour ago, and an hour ago and an hour and a half ago – and they’re utterly obsessed with having the right kind of waterproof socks. I’ve been watching it for a week now, harvesting the stupidest questions – not because I want to celebrate how stupid they are but because you might think it’s too stupid to ask and therefore I want to create a little repository of answers to the questions you were afraid to ask. After all, we all know, there are no stupid questions. So make yourself comfortable.

The KP index is forecast to be high. Will I see the Northern Lights?

No. This is the summer edition and around November, I’ll do a winter edition which will have a different answer. But in summer, no, you won’t. It needs to be dark for Northern Lights and Iceland effectively has 24 hour daylight from mid-May to August. It’s not true daylight, Iceland isn’t actually above the Arctic Circle (except the northernmost half-mile or so of a tiny island off the north coast) and the sun will dip briefly below the horizon but it won’t get beyond something called civil twilight, which means you’ll be able to sit outside and read a book all night with no difficulty, should you wish to. So no Northern Lights. You may get Northern Lights by late August if you’re lucky but if you’re coming to Iceland specifically for Northern Lights, I’d come between October and March.

Are [this brand] of socks ok?

Yes. Honestly, unless you’re doing a massive hike, it really doesn’t matter what socks you wear. If you are doing a massive hike, I assume you’re an experienced enough hiker that you don’t need Facebook to tell you what socks to wear. In the summer, I tend to live in hiking sandals so I don’t wear any socks, but when I need the extra support or the extra coverage (you don’t want to wear sandals in hot springs areas where the ground is bubbling blue mud), I just wear my everyday hiking boots with socks that are probably either from Tesco or Primark. You’re all thinking too much about socks.

Similarly, you don’t need to make a song and dance about having the right brand of outdoor clothes and you don’t need to dress up as if you’re planning on summitting Everest. As long as you’ve got something warm, a half-decent waterproof jacket and some waterproof trousers, you’ll be great.

How long should I spend at the Blue Lagoon?

That’s entirely up to you and your schedule. I can happily spend an entire day there; other people find an hour or two more than enough. Bear in mind that the most basic of basic admissions is 9,990 ISK (£58 today) and you’ll want to stay long enough to get your money’s worth but this is a question no one can answer for you. Please do consider booking in advance the moment you know you’re going to Iceland – particularly in the summer, the Blue Lagoon can sell out weeks in advance.

Which should I go to, the Blue Lagoon or the Sky Lagoon?

Oh, I have an entire video series on which is the best geothermal experience! On the whole, as a first-time tourist in Iceland, I’d choose the Blue Lagoon. The Sky Lagoon is cheaper and it’s much quicker to get to from Reykjavik, being 10-15 minutes from the city centre rather than an hour, but it’s also much smaller and they only let you go in the steam room and sauna once, which they package as the extra-special “Skjól ritual” rather than a basic amenity you get full access to in any local swimming pool (do consider a local swimming pool – they’re about £8, no time restrictions, often have an outdoor pool, will always have at least one hot pot and will almost always have a sauna and/or steam room). At least these days you don’t have to pay £17 extra to upgrade from basic entrance to the entrance including a single admission to the Ritual but do bear in mind, you only get one go at it.

The Blue Lagoon, on the other hand, has just upgraded its sauna (it realised the Sky Lagoon had a better one) and you can go in as many times as you like, as well as the steam room, plus the Blue Lagoon has a relaxing room out of the water and space around the edge to sunbathe and a cafe within the wet area. For all the Blue Lagoon is busy, it’s surprisingly easy to find a quiet corner because it’s huge and weird-shaped and if you don’t like the temperature, there is always a warmer or colder patch somewhere. I recently saw someone complain about it not being hot enough and as a hot water connoisseur, I promise, you will find somewhere hot enough.

Will I see a volcano erupting?

Honestly, probably not. First, no one knows when a volcano is going to erupt. They don’t do it to schedule and sometimes you’ll get two short eruptions within a week and sometimes you’ll get a single eruption that goes on for six months and sometimes you’ll go six months with nothing – and this is just the semi-regular Reykjanes eruptions of the last four years. However, even if one is erupting, chances are that the area will be closed off. The current eruptions in the vicinity of Grindavik are generally fairly small and flowy rather than explosive but they’re happening almost in a working fishing town and very close to the Blue Lagoon and the geothermal power plant. The authorities have got better things to worry about than whether tourists are staying safe. Your best bet is to book a helicopter trip a couple of minutes before an eruption starts – because a couple of minutes later, it’ll be entirely sold out.

How fit do you need to be for the Golden Circle?

Not very. I keep seeing posts talking about STAIRS and altitude but it’s a sightseeing tour, it’s not a trekking or adventure tour, whether you do it in your own car or whether you go on a coach trip. There are three main stops. Stairs vary at each but altitude… well, I’m not going to say it’s sea level but it’s nowhere near high enough that you’re going to notice the effects. At no point are you hiking and at no point does the incline of the various slopes get properly strenuous. If you can walk to the bus stop or you can walk across a car park to the supermarket on the other side, you’re probably fit enough to do a sightseeing tour.

Þingvellir (thing-vet-leer is as close to the correct pronunciation as English-speaking mouths will probably get) is a massive National Park with a slope running from the viewpoint by the visitor centre down into the park itself. There are paths with steps that lead through the trees and cliffs but most people don’t do them, they just walk from the main car park at the top to the main car park at the bottom, if they walk at all. If you don’t want to walk, you can drive down and round and do it as two stops – your parking ticket is for Þingvellir, not for “Þingvellir car park [1/2/whatever]” so it won’t cost extra to park in two different car parks.

Geysir is a slightly rough, very slightly inclined circular path around the geysers with no steps at all. You can hike up to the top of the hill to look down on it all and that’s quite steep, which is why I’ve never done it.

Gullfoss has two car parks. The main one is up at the top, by the visitor centre and if you want to really see the waterfall from there, you’ll probably need to go down a few stairs and I admit, they’re hard work to come all the way back up from. But if you park at the lower car park, it’s pretty much flat. If you want to walk all the way out to the rock in the middle of the falls (which is closed in bad weather because it would be very easy to fall over the falls), there are no stairs but you might find it a bit hard work walking back up to the gate on the way back.

Can you drink alcohol in public in Iceland?

Yep. Drink drive limits are very strict but if you just want to sit and enjoy a view with a beer or a glass of wine, no one will care.

Do I have to go to [place/sight]?

No. There is no tourist police who will arrest you for not ticking off every single interesting site in the entire country.

What will the weather be like?

No one knows. Honestly. Iceland has t-shirts in all the tourist shops that say “If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes”. Whatever your weather app says, no matter how local and how reliable, the weather is very changeable and certainly can’t be predicted three weeks out. I’ve had summers in Iceland that have been blue sky and sunshine, where I’ve lived in shorts and t-shirts and sandals. I’ve had summers in Iceland that have drizzled for a solid week. I’ve had summers in Iceland that have been chilly and miserable. If you go up into the Highlands, you can have blizzards in June and July and winter starts around mid-late August up there.

I want to go to Diamond Beach

Great. Don’t depend on it being buried in massive icebergs – there was hardly anything there when I went two years ago. But also, please don’t call it Diamond Beach. Icelanders don’t come to your country and rename your beaches. Its full name is Breiðamerkursandur (bray-tha, mair-kur, san-dur) although I’ve seen it called Fellsfjara (fetls-fyara). Similarly, try to get used to Jökulsárlón (yer-kull-sar-lone) instead of “the glacier lagoon”. That’s not really the right way to pronounce -lón but I can’t figure out a better way to transliterate it. It’s more like the o in hotel.

Can we use Amex?

Probably not. I’m not saying absolutely nowhere in the entire country will take it but as a general thing, it’ll be rejected more times than it’ll be accepted.

How much cash do we need? Can we pay in [currency other than ISK]?

Honestly, you don’t really need cash. I’ve carried the same handful of silver back and forth at least four times now and not spend a single coin. Once upon a time I’d have said you need a few coins for swimming pool lockers but even that seems to have been done away with now. You can’t even pay for city bus fares with cash anymore, apparently. No, cards will do the job everywhere, even when paying for shower tokens up in the Highlands. No, Iceland only accepts the Icelandic kroner. You can’t pay in Euros or dollars any more than you can pay in magic beans.

Is this itinerary too much?

The fact that you’re asking says yes, it probably is. There’s a lot to see and do in Iceland and if it’s your once-in-a-lifetime, of course you want to do everything. But I’m seeing a lot of Ring Road itineraries that are seven long driving days with ten minute stops at a dozen places along the way and that isn’t seeing or appreciating Iceland at all. You either need to extend the trip or you need to shorten the drive. A lot of people doing the Ring Road basically drive straight from Egilsstaðir back to Reykjavik with only a cursory overnight stop in the north because they’ve run out of time and energy – you’re far better off concentrating on the south-west and the south coast if you’ve only got a week.

I’m planning to rent a 4×4 to drive on the F roads

Ok, two things. First, check that your rental company includes insurance to drive on F road, which are the mountain roads. They’re special because they’re often little more than tracks scraped across the lava with yellow marker poles and they frequently run through rivers. There are signs at the beginning of them announcing that it’s illegal to drive rental cars on them but if you’ve paid the extra with a specialist company to get the special insurance, then it’s ok. But you need to make sure that it’s legally ok to drive on them before you go anywhere!

Then, do you have the driving skills to drive on F roads? Driving through rivers is a skill in itself, driving on rutted mountain tracks is a skill in itself and you have to be prepared for bad weather – by which I mean that you may find yourself hunkering down in the car, unable to go anywhere for a while. If you’re venturing into the Highlands, you should have enough food and water for at least double the time you’re planning to be out there, extra fuel for the vehicle and enough warm stuff to survive an unscheduled blizzard. Following a satnav is not going to be as simple as turning right or left at the upcoming junction – there will be times when you will struggle to discern anything road-like at all.

How long does security/passport control/baggage reclaim take at Keflavik?

This is another unanswerable question. Sorry. It depends on time of day, how many flights are coming in, how many people have complications, how many people are working, the weather and so on. There are far too many factors to give any solid answer. I’ve waited an hour for my baggage to arrive and my baggage has got to reclaim before I have. I’ve breezed through passport control and I’ve stood in a long queue at passport control. It just depends whether you get lucky or unlucky that day.

I’m sure there are dozens more stupid/first-timer questions that I could answer but I think that’ll do for now. I’ll do a winter edition later in the year, with winter-specific questions plus anything non-seasonal that I spot between now and then. If you have any other stupid question, please feel free to leave it in the comments – there’s no such thing as a stupid question and I’d be delighted to answer whatever you have to ask.