Iceland has been on TV a lot lately. I don’t know if the TV has decided to show us all the places we can’t go or if a new volcano has just captured everyone’s imaginations again, like Eyjafjallajökull did ten years ago, but I had to create a separate Google Calendar just to make sure I didn’t miss anything – and then still missed two of them and had to catch up.
So, we had Alexander Armstrong’s series [blog part 1 | parts 2 & 3] a couple of months ago and Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond the Lobby just a couple of weeks ago and over Christmas we had George’s Clarke’s Amazing Spaces, Bradley Walsh’s Breaking Dad and Joe Lycett as the new Travel Man. I’m not going to devote a separate post to each episode – I’m not even going to give them a separate map, but I have done a map so you can follow along and add to your own personal Iceland itinerary. Each show is its own layer (and its own colour) so you can switch them on and off as you please.
George Clarke’s Icelandic Adventure (C4)
This show had a huge disadvantage in terms of me adding it to a map and commentating so that you can see it for yourself: some of the amazing spaces are private houses. That’s not to say I haven’t looked for them and I know roughly where they are but I can’t quite pin them down and wouldn’t feel 100% comfortable advertising their locations either. And then there’s the ones that don’t have a fixed location, like that tiny caravan-thing.
That said, there was some stuff I can show you. I like the Buuble glamping place! The website says the hanging bubble is unsuitable for people prone to seasickness, for all Will Hardy says it’s really stable in the wind. What they don’t show is the other bubbles, the ones on solid land, scattered around the site. Watch Joe Lycett, it’s where he stays, if you’re particular curious about what the ground bubbles look like.
Speaking of the bubble and the caravan-thing, I’d still camp – but in summer. I’d find a solid building for winter but I do like a tent and although it was windy, Will didn’t need to look quite so stupid and useless trying to put that tent up. My tent is less claustrophobic than lying in a coffin-sized box too, however big the skylight is.
I’m reasonably confident that the horse riding is Lýtingsstaðir Horse Farm, which is actually at Varmahlíð, which is some distance from the land end of Skagafjörður. Obviously he tries out the tölt but as he talks about the beer test, it’s a little annoying that he doesn’t get to do it – Alexander Armstrong did and Bradley Walsh is going to!
And here we go again, with the snarky “Icelanders believe in elves, how silly” thing, which I am so tired of. Brits, I know we’re accustomed to the whole “foreigners are so funny and stupid!” thing but we’re trying to grow out of that, and I imagine Iceland doesn’t appreciate this snark every single time we send a film crew over there. How many of us believe in something ridiculous? For example, Icelanders might refuse to join the EU themselves but that doesn’t mean they don’t shake their heads at our ridiculousness for believing we should leave it. Back to the elves – Victoria Coren makes a good point about the elves representing a reason to stop and think before throwing roads and houses everywhere on the Only Connect Christmas special this year – I’ve never noticed twee little elf houses scattered around, especially as the huldufólk live in rocks, which Will Hardy actually points out.
I adored the bit at Vök Baths – that’s on my list of spas to do in Iceland, which has opened since I was last there. I’m beginning to feel like Iceland has assigned each film crew a different spa to visit – Alexander Armstrong went to the Sky Lagoon, these two are at Vök Baths, Bradley’s going to go to Myvatn Nature Baths. The Blue Lagoon‘s been done to death and now the other places are getting a moment in the spotlight, which is nice.
George’s Icelandic pronunciation is appalling: what did you just call Þingvallavatn‽ Thing-wot-lavat? Really? (It’s not quite correct but Thing-vatla-va is at least close enough for Icelanders to recognise that you’re giving it a go). I mean, at least he’s trying? And at least he’s not adding “…I think that’s how it’s pronounced”, like every travel vlogger butchering the local language. 6/10 for language. Mind you, his English is no better. This is a direct quote, and from the voiceover, so it’s not even the natural language of conversation: “No wonder this place has called the Five Million Star Hotel” (that’s the Buuble he’s referring to. I’d knock a few million stars off for having a shared toilet block so far away – imagine running there in the middle of a snowy night – but the hanging bubble does look fun).
But at least they’re doing something different. There’s no sign of the active volcano but then I don’t know exactly when this was filmed. A lot of recent travel TV has been filmed and got out within under a month and I have no idea whether the snowy wintery bits of this were done last winter or whether it was done three weeks ago. Well, as the volcano didn’t start until March and finished in September, I guess it might not have actually been erupting while they were there. Obviously they’re doing the horses and the geothermal baths but they’re mostly doing what George Clark and Will Hardy do: they’re looking at unusual architecture, which at least gives them a good reason to be in Iceland, doing something none of the other shows are doing.
Bradley and Barney: Breaking Dad at Christmas (ITV)
Now, here’s one that didn’t need to be made. Bradley Walsh isn’t doing anything new or interesting. Most of what he does is done all over again, and better, by Joe Lycett. I’ve drawn a map and I’m seeing Bradley’s yellow markets overlaid by Joe’s green ones again and again.
….ok, fine. I’m not a huge fan of Bradley Walsh and I’m really not a huge fan outside the fairly rigid scripted setting of TV presenter/actor. He’s the worst of a Brit abroad. I know that’s kind of point of the whole Breaking Dad series but it’s been done before and it’s tired and old and it wasn’t funny in the first place. Hysterical guffawing at how weird other countries’ Christmas traditions are isn’t a good look in 2021. Not even going to try pronouncing the horse’s name and just going “I’ll call him Dave” is not a good look in 2021. 0/10 for language, Bradley. That’s disgraceful. It’s rude. And the tedious semi-scripted bit in the ridiculous RV last seen with Gordon, Gino and Fred on their adventures, you could have just cut them out and had an extra fifteen or twenty minutes of Iceland. Come on, we open with nearly two full minutes of a totally fake and badly scripted dream sequence that we just did not in any way need.
Now, Barney does reel off facts but even when he’s not shown literally reading them off his phone, he still sounds like he’s reading them off his phone. But at least he’s trying to pretend to show an interest, whereas Bradley just dismisses absolutely everything. I already didn’t like him but I loathe and detest this xenophobic attitude – why are we celebrating it on TV? In 2021?
It’s not like the Brit Who Doesn’t Enjoy Foreign Travel hasn’t been done to death – Karl Pilkington, the Idiot Abroad, is the original anti-travel documentary and I’ve never enjoyed the way Richard Ayoade looks down his nose at everything on Travel Man. Do we need it again with Bradley Walsh?
They did make an effort to show some new stuff, I grant you. Snowmobiling has been done before but I get the impression that their adventure with Lexi Kárason is a private trip rather than the same organised tour that everyone else does, as he seems to be a professional racer rather than working for any adventure company, as far as I can see.
Snowboarding is not much of a thing in Iceland. Iceland isn’t as snowy as it sounds – well, not around the edges where the people live, although the Interior can be under several feet of snow by mid-August and not clear again until early July – and traditional Alpine snowsports like skiing and snowboarding aren’t so popular. That said, there are a handful of small resorts and it’s good to get to actually see them. Icelandic snow activities tend to feature glaciers and snowmobiles, both of which we also get in this episode.
Speaking of glaciers, there’s a tour company in Vik that will take you to climb into crevasses and charge you upwards of £200 for it, so stop complaining about getting to do this for free, Bradley. You’re right that ice climbing is hard work but getting to abseil into a glacier is an amazing experience and I’m green with envy, so stop whining.
I’ve never seen anyone else go to Myvatn Nature Baths, although equally I’ve never seen it completely devoid of other visitors. Alexander Armstrong did go to Dimmuborgir for his choir performance but you may not recognise it as it was high summer then and it’s now buried under snow. I rather get the impression the Yule Lads are a thing in winter that wasn’t specially put on for the TV (a suspicion that was confirmed when they also showed up for Joe Lycett…). They’re annoying in their way but I would still go to visit them if I was in North Iceland, just to see them.
There’s always horse riding and they combined it with some scenery by having it take place on the black sand beach at Vik – yes, that was a nice touch. I’m a little surprised no one’s ever shown Reynisfjara, the famous and beautiful black sand beach on the other side of that headland – well, ok, Alexander Armstrong did – but I guess it’s so dangerous to the dim and unwary that they don’t want to encourage people to go there. So it’s extra-nice to see the other black beach.
I’m glad I sat and watched it, although I could have quite happily not watched it a second time to do the map, but if you’re into Iceland, I think there are better things to watch with better hosts – the new Christmas special Travel Man: 96 Hours in Iceland, for a start.
Travel Man: 96 Hours in Iceland (C4)
This was my favourite of the three. I was already a fan of Joe Lycett and I like that while he’s a bit sarcastic at times, he doesn’t have that thing Richard Ayoade had, whereby he seemed to look down his nose and be snarky about everything, or nearly everything, which got quite wearing quite quickly. I know a lot of people loved him as Travel Man but his attitude to all things foreign irritated me. And again, I know that’s the point of it but I don’t have to like it.
Of the three, Joe Lycett also makes the best attempt at the Icelandic. It’s not spot-on but it’s about as good as what I can manage. There’s no “I’ll call him Dave” or guffawing foreign traditions and he manages to come out with some of the facts in a far more natural way than anyone else manages and they even manage “Gleðileg jól” without visibly repeating it from a local, so 9.5/10 for Joe’s Icelandic! However, this is one show that wasn’t filmed in the depths of winter – oh, there’s snow, but there isn’t always much of it and the landscape is more obviously the orange-grey of late autumn than the proper winter wonderland of the other two.
There is a lift to the top of Hallgrimskirkja – in fact, I’d go so far as to say that if there are any stairs to 90% of the way up the tower, I’ve never seen them, and the only stairs are from the lift to the two top floors with the open windows. He does repeat some of the places Bradley Walsh did – hello again, Yule Lads at Dimmuborgir, the Christmas shop and Myvatn Nature Baths – and the same Buuble glamping that George Clarke visited but he also does some more unexpected places. I’ve never seen anyone go to Hveragerdi! I’m not convinced about cooking the eggs. When I was there in 2016, they said the pools had cooled too much to cook eggs but I knew the hot spring bread was coming before it appeared and I’m delighted they went to the shopping centre and its earthquake simulator, even if they did suggest it’s in Reykjavik. The earthquake simulator has never worked when I’ve been by and it also had a kitchen full of smashed plates which didn’t make an appearance here. I said earlier that I’m sure Iceland requires everyone to film their show at a different spa and although the spa in this one is the Nature Baths again – complete with other patrons! – they go off to the hot tubs on the beach at Hauganes and that’s now gone on my to-do list.
Oh, and Grimsey! So many people talk about how far north Iceland is, and about the Midnight Sun and the 24-hour daylight and the Arctic conditions and although I don’t think they make it clear enough just how far north of Iceland Grimsey is, they do make it clear that here and only here they are crossing the Arctic Circle. Incidentally, I’ve crossed the Arctic Circle quite a few times and I’ve never got a certificate for it!
“There’s no overt drunkenness or unpleasantness [in the Myvatn Nature Baths]” – well, I don’t know for certain because they haven’t updated their website since the bar was added, but at the Blue Lagoon, you buy your drinks at the bar using your electronic bracelet as a sort of waterproof credit card and there’s a strict limit on how many alcoholic drinks you can buy with it and I assume the Nature Baths have a similar system. However, I haven’t been there since 2016, which is before the bar. Back then – and even today according to the website – you order your drinks on arrival and they get brought out to you in the water.
You know, the more travel shows I see prancing off to Iceland, the more I want to go there and make one of my own. I’ve been trying to get brave enough to vlog a trip since at least 2015 – I sat on the grass outside Riga Airport on my way to Tallinn and made faces at a camera perched on my bag in the grass and nothing came of it but one thing I don’t think I mentioned in my plans for 2022 post is that I want to start making videos this year. Not too much pressure, just twelve of them, just one a month. I mean, maybe I’ll get into it and end up making more but I think one a month is a reasonable target for a camera-shy absolute beginner. The January one will probably be a walk but I’m off glamping in February so that’s what that one will be about, and maybe by the time I get back to Iceland, I’ll be comfortable enough to actually make my own mini travel show there. On the Ring Road: The Series, coming… eventually.