One of the things I hear most often (heard most often; it drops off when you reach your thirties and people have had seven or eight years to get used to it) as a person travelling alone in possession of both an X and a Y chromosome is
You’re so brave!
And of course, as anyone who regularly hears this can tell you, it’s deeply annoying and also hints just a tiny bit of disapproval that you don’t seem to quite understand your place. Or maybe I’m just over-sensitive.
You don’t need to be particularly brave to travel solo with any combination of chromosomes. Here are my tips (with the caveat that I’m a white cis female who travels only in Europe; other experiences may differ hugely):
- Be prepared. Read a guidebook or the local tourist board’s website or Wikitravel or whatever but read. Know something about the place you’re going. Research is king.
- To that end, have accommodation sorted before you get there. There’s plenty of time to learn about spontaneity when you’ve finished learning about being brave. Baby steps. Find somewhere to sleep that’s reputable and easily accessible. Take the name and address in case you need to ask for directions; maybe even take a map printed from Google Maps with the place marked on – along with other important locations like rail and bus stops/stations, supermarkets, tourist information etc.
- Don’t be afraid of asking for help or directions. I like to pop into smart-looking hotels when I’m lost in the dark because they feel safe. Tourist offices are always helpful but local people on the street are also great – don’t be afraid to approach a friendly-looking one if you need to.
- Try to do the travelling part in daylight. Simply because the dark feels more intimidating when you’re new to solo travel and lends a certain urgency that can make you panic. Daylight buys time to deal with things calmly.
- Wear shoes you can walk and run in. I never feel as much like I’m being watched or about to be attacked as I do out and about in heels. It’s probably not going to happen but good shoes lend confidence and confidence is a big thing.
- Try to cultivate a semi-hostile expression, the sort that makes people give you a little space without actually thinking you’re a bad person. Looking too friendly and open gives people an excuse to approach you. Obviously, you need to be careful with this; as a solo traveller there are times when you’ll want to try to make friends, so you’ll need to judge when each expression is appropriate. If, for example, a random man sees you from a hotel window and subsequently pops out from behind a large vehicle at 5.30am in the dark when you’re heavily laden and trudging uphill, don’t be shy about turning that hostile look right on them. Men, don’t do things like this.
- Consider what you’re wearing. You are more and less visible depending on what you wear, and remember there are times and places where you may be required to be more covered-up – but you should have come across this back in the reading stage and know if you’re going to need a head covering to enter certain religious buildings, for example. I find I’m more visible the more traditionally feminine I dress and less visible the more I dress like I’m going to climb a mountain.
- The only people who will judge you negatively for travelling and eating alone are people whose opinions are not worth your time. Eat alone. Go to supermarkets and buy picnic ingredients – bread and fillings for sandwiches, drinks, snacks etc. Find somewhere pretty or sheltered or otherwise suitable and eat your picnic.
- Phone calls home can be expensive but worthwhile. Skype/Facetime are even better if you’ve got wifi. Calling home is a good thing when you’re feeling lonely and you may well feel lonely when you start travelling alone. I think it wears off after a while.
- I wear a velcro ID bracelet just in case I ever need to be identified. It has my name, date of birth and two emergency contact numbers, complete with international dialling code. Much quicker and easier than keeping it in my phone, notebook or passport. It doubles as “this is my name” when arriving at hotels where people can’t understand me.
- At least until you get used to this solo travel thing, leave a copy of your itinerary with someone at home, then you can feel safe in the knowledge that someone knows where you are. I try to write a travel blog/diary that my mum can read so she knows I’m alive, but that’s more out of habit and because I find it a useful resource than because it makes me feel safe these days.
- What if you want photos of yourself while you’re travelling alone? There are three ways of achieving that – read about them here.
Do you have any tips for the aspiring solo female traveller? Tell me about them in the comments and I look forward to hearing them.